Golf Lingo #3

Every sport has its own lingo and golf is no different, however the difference between what you say and what you mean can sometimes be worlds apart:

“IT’S WINDY UP THERE”

What it means: A high breeze, undetectable at ground level, has changed the intended flight of my ball, which I struck perfectly.

Reality is…Sh**! Another snap-hook

“I NEDD TO BOOST MY SUGAR”

What it means: The front-nine was mentally draining so I’ll have a quick isotonic drink to replenish my energy levels for the remainder of the round .

Reality is…I’m going to the bar for a pint. To be honest, there’s a good chance I’ll be playing no more golf today and calling the wife for a lift in several hours.

“SORRY, I THOUGHT YOU WERE CLEAR OF THE GREEN”

What it means: I’ve committed golf greatest sin and played to a green occupied by the group in front, both dangerous and downright rude.

Reality is…Hurry up!

“SIT DOWN OR GET UP”

What it means: Travel the intended yardage I’ve indicated.

Reality is…Why am I after an inanimate object???

(source: GolfPunk International magazine, GP148)