* It takes longer to learn good golf than it does brain surgery. On the other hand, you seldom get to ride around on a cart, drink beer eat hot dogs and fart while performing brain surgery.
* Golf balls are like eggs . they’re white. They’re sold by the dozen and a week later you have to buy more.
* A pro-shop gets its name from the fact that you have to have the income of a professional golfer to buy anything in there.
* It’s amazing how a golfer who never helps out around the house will replace his divots, repair his ball marks, and rake his sand traps.
* When you stop to think about it, did you ever notice that it’s a lot easier to get up at 6:00 a.m. to play golf than at 10:00 to go to church?
* Golf is by far the ultimate love/hate relationship: Sometimes it seems as though your cup runneth and moveth over.
* A good drive on the 18th hole has stopped many a golfer from giving up the game.
* Water hazards are no walk in the park for fish, turtles, frogs or gators either.
* Golf is the perfect thing to do on Sunday because you always end up praying a lot.
* A good golf partner is one who’s always slightly worse than you.
* That rake by the sand trap is there for golfers who feel guilty about skipping out on lawn work.
* If there’s a big storm rolling in, you’ll be in the middle of having the game of your life.
* If your opponent has trouble remembering whether he shot a six or a seven, he probably shot an eight.
* The game of golf is 90% mental and 10% mental.
* If you want to get better at golf, go back and take it up at a much earlier age.
* Since bad shots come in groups of three, a fourth bad shot is actually the beginning of the next group of three.
* When you look up and cause an awful shot, you will always look down again at exactly the moment when you ought to start watching the ball if you ever want to see it again.
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