Golf Lingo #1

Every sport has its own lingo and golf is no different, however the difference between what you say and what you mean can sometimes be worlds apart:

“I HAD A GREAT NUMBER THERE”

What it means: That’s how far I hit my club. Every time.

Reality is…That’s how far I wish I hit my club every time.

“YEAH, I BUSTED ONE OUT THERE…”

What it means: I smacked my driver about 340 yards”

Reality is…I wrung the club’s neck like a chocked chicken and swung at it like an axe murderer!

“I’VE BEEN SPENDING SOME TIME ON MY SHORT GAME.”

What it means: I’ve been devoting four hours a day to short game practice for the last three weeks.

Reality is…I had six practice putts before I teed off.

“I LEFT SHOTS OUT THERE”

What it means: My score should have been quite a bit lower than my level-par total.

Reality is…I watched telly last night and heard something that makes me sound better.

“I’M COMING OFF IT A FRACTION”

What it means: My timing is slightly out and I’m not quite square at impact, leaving a lot of shots out to the right.

Reality is…My arms are in a different postcode to my knees and frankly it’s a miracle that I’m even able to make contact with the ball. I still don’t know why I’m slicing it tough…

(source: Golf-Punk International magazine, GP148)